Talking with your children is essential, it would be inconceivable today to say the opposite! But despite everything, talking to them well is not an obvious thing. Also, should we hide things from them to protect them? Or again: should we answer each of their questions? You see that the subject is not simple! It is especially not to be taken lightly because the words remain and can haunt us for a long time.
The Right Language To Speak With Your Kids
Of course, depending on the age of the child, the vocabulary will not be the same, but in any case, it must be precise. For example: using the word fly for any flying insect is not possible. The child must learn the true name for everything, which is necessary for his understanding of the world.
Likewise, it is useless and bad for the child to use “stupid” language! (dada for the horse, yum yum for food… you get the idea!) Indeed, according to Claude Halmos, a psychoanalyst specializing in childhood, stupid language breaks the dialogue and at the same time the esteem that the child has of himself! That said, using language that is too adult would not be desirable either.
So, in this balancing act, the idea is to realize that we can speak normally with a child using a simple and precise vocabulary, and a rather slow speech rate to give him time to assimilate. Observe the kindergarten teachers or the nursery staff for the youngest children, it’s instructive.
What Topics Can You Discuss With Your Children?
Sometimes it can be tempting to tell your children everything, especially when they ask a lot of questions. Sometimes even the child is the only person to talk to the adult so he may naturally have the need to confide his concerns and the course of his day as an adult up and down. But it is better to remain vigilant because unfortunately, it can be difficult for the child to live with. Indeed, this can generate unnecessary worries or give the child the feeling of having a weight to bear. Moreover, it can make the child think that he has the right to interfere in everything in adult life.
Balancing Levels To Talk To Your Kids
Finally, getting up to talk with your child is something that comes up often. Indeed, this avoids imposing a hierarchical relationship that is not the most conducive to good communication. So, as an adult, by scaling up to your child, you are more likely to empathize. Therefore, to better understand his questions, try to see things through his child’s eyes.
For those who wish to deepen this fascinating subject, below Claude Halmos ‘ book which is also full of letters from children, fun to read to better understand the questions that may be theirs!